Your Questions About Debt Busting Deals

Mandy asks…

Parents I really need your help?

Parents I am mother to a beautiful 5 year old girl but lately she has been driving me nuts!!! I could not wait for this Thanksgiving break to end. This was the worst break for me. I spent this whole break arguing with my daughter dealing with tantrums and stubbornness. I am just so tired from all of this drama that I am very happy that she is back in school today. I know I sound harsh for thinking this way but this is how I feel. I even look forward to her going to bed at night and to her going to school in the morning.

I love her but sometimes she makes me feel like I want to run away and never come back. She also makes me not want to get up in the morning. I am in college and trying to bust my butt in this mathematics course so I can get a degree and graduate and make a better life for us. This math class requires a lot of my time and she requires the other half and I am just torn.

Last night I heard her tell my mother that I am the worst mommy ever and that she doesn’t like anything about me and that she doesn’t like when I protect her (this was all because I told her that she had to turn the DVD off because it was time for bed.) I reached the breaking point today, roughed her up a bit (took her by the arms and very firmly told her that she must stop and listen) and gave her a tap on the wrist for not listening and she hit me back. (I nipped that hitting in the bud right there and she has not hit me since) In between this “tussle” (me holding her arms and her trying to hit me) her nose bled on the right side. I did not hit her I am not sure how the blood even got there. She did not even know she was bleeding. My child is so stubborn and very scheming that I do not know what to do. I try time outs but she just screams and screams and I cannot let her scream and scream because I live in an apartment complex and the neighbors might think that I am abusing her and end up calling DSS on me or something. So the timeouts do not work.

Sometimes I get really down and contemplate suicide but I know that it wouldn’t be fair to leave my daughter for others to care for and it would not be fair to leave others in debt because of my funeral. It is very awful that I think like this but I am just so enclosed. When my daughter is asleep I sometimes go into the bathroom and breakdown and cry and I did this last night. I live with my mother and brother and no one knows how I feel. No one knows that I cry like this and no one knows that I have suicidal thoughts. I feel so alone sometimes.

I am only 24 and I am so deep in the stress that I cannot breathe. Maybe this is a bad week I am behind in my math work and my daughter is bouncing off the walls and I am broke. I am still stressed. I just want to be happy all of the time or at least appear happy most of the time (like my mother) and I want to be able to have peaceful days with my child. I do not want her to remember me as a tight ass dictator and hate me as she gets older.

I am a single mom and she does have visits with her dad. I look back on my decision to have pre-marital sex and I feel so stupid. I think that my life could be so much different if I had not done what I did. Then I look at my daughter and feel like I cannot give up on her or me.

My life consists of cooking, cleaning, battles with my 5 year old, and school. I have no love life, and no social life, and I haven’t had either of these for 4 years could this be my problem?

I know my kid is a good kid she just needs the attention that I do not sometimes have. I used to be able to play and laugh and joke with her but now I am so busy and stressed.

Any advice?
Thank you to all of the parents answering. Your answers are helping me feel better. I will most likely delete this question, I don’t like airing my personal life out on here but I needed the advice.

So thank you again.

John answers:

You’re busy and stressed and blaming it on your daughter. You need help. When you had a child you signed up for at least 18 years of sacrifice and devotion to that child. Get some help before you lose your control.

Ken asks…

A 15 year olds view on the world.?

Every one to put in internet terms are ‘noobs’. Ignorant to the bone. They sit their fat state college *** on their couch and watch tv. And believe every bit of it.

Does critical thinking exist anymore. What the f*** happened to swine flu? I thought that was going to kill me! Millions of vaccinations. expired a few months ago. I didn’t get one, I don’t get any flu shots, look at peanut allergies – 40 years ago they were practically unheard of. Now if i eat a snickers and touch some one I have to worry about them dropping to the floor. In my opinion its because of our fear of germs. Hand sanitizer everywhere, parenting classes teaching parents how to keep babies clean (I had a presentation at my school on this) we need to BUILD an immune system!

We are also terrified of getting hurt. No more swings at playgrounds, street hockey being banned, We have a generation of pussy’s, never had a hard days work just sit in their sterile mainstream cubical. Now this person works a job they hate, in debt from school, not being able to raise their children because they have to have a double income to pay for all the useless **** they buy. So the kid sits their *** infront of the TV and turns into the same thing.

Our obsession with celebrities is ridiculous. I don’t give a **** who Brad Pitt is dating, if i saw him I would politely say hi and comment on how I like him as an actor and move on. Not stalk him, not ‘tweet’ his location. The news talks so much about that kind of stuff. And bad news. Every one loves murders and suicides but if some kid donated 500 bucks to a charity its unheard, sure there are short segments on ‘good news but no where as much as the bad.

Drugs, always a hot topic Its scary how many people know nothing of them. Ive asked people how many people die from marijuana a year. 50? 500? 50000? nope. ZERO. What about the most potent and illegal hallucinogen known to man DMT? ZERO. How many people have overdosed on acid? ZERO. Water kills more people yet its legal. The reason people die from drugs is because they are uneducated and because they are illegal. Besides who are we to tell some one what they can or cannot put in their body?

Then we see kids shooting up school and hanging them selves because a few kids bullied them. We need to learn how to bust each others balls abit. You didnt hear of this stuff back in the 60’s or the 70’s it was part of growing up. You dealt with it. Again back to the generation on pu**ies.

Then there is the president. Do you think they run the country. The president of the united states is NOT allowed in area 51. There has to be higher powers at work. I know I have much more to learn (im only 15) but damn. Were fuc*ed. I don’t mean to be pessimistic just realistic.

I know most of you wont read this because you are what I mentioned above.

And those people who go to church and love jesus! But wont hesitate to stab you in the back if you turn for a second. I agree with religion, even somewhat with Christianity but the church is to far corrupt to be taken seriously.

Sorry about the grammar, i dont have enough time to correct everything.
People have died from drinking too much water. Please research your facts.

John answers:

I like the way you think.

John asks…

My daughter in law is cheating on my son with my other son, what can I do to stop this outrageous mess?

My daughter in law Ebony had me in her corner until I found out this affair she’s having with my baby! My son Andre is 20 years old, Ebony is 34. Andre decided not to go to college right away so he stayed home with me and held down a job after graduating high school. Ebony is married to my older son Malik who is currently locked up. He been in prison since 2008 and he’s expecting to be released early next year. I can’t pretend that Malik has been a total good guy. He put Ebony through a lot. They have a 9 year old son and a 6 year old daughter together. Malik could never hold down no job, he blew his money on weed and he ran his household into debt which made Ebony lose the house last year and have to move into my house along with my grandkids. Through all of that, Ebony did indeed support Malik by writing letters, visiting and keeping his commissary full. She also helped with bills, cooking and cleaning in my house. So, I can’t say she sat on her behind and ain’t do nothing. Ebony put up with a lot to be with Malik because she loved the sh*t out of him. Ebony is college educated and makes good money and her parents think she can do much better than some delinquent thug. Even though it hurts that they was talking about my son; it’s the truth I must admit.

About 7 months ago, Ebony got upset because Malik’s jealous, spiteful, ghetto baby momma Lakeisha decided to come to my house and drop off a bunch letters addressed to her from Malik throughout his prison stay. These letters did not say much about the 12 year old son Lakeisha and Malik have together. Malik was saying things like “He misses her”, “He still loves her” and “He can’t wait to see her”. Ebony cried for a long time over that mess. For months I’ve been consoling Ebony, letting her know that SHE is my daughter and Malik shamed me because I done raised him better than that. I’ve been cheated on by Malik’s father and then Andre’s father did the same thing to me, so I felt Ebony’s pain. But yesterday afternoon was a nightmare. When I came home from work, my grandkids was playing the Nintendo Wii in the living room. I goes upstairs and hear Ebony moaning from Andre’s room. His lock was broken so I busted in and embarrassed both their behinds. They were both naked trying to get dressed. My son barely had his boxers on when I came in. I cursed Ebony out calling her a whore and I had to stop myself from whooping her ***. Long story short, I told her to get her things and get out my house, but my grandkids can stay. But no, Ebony took her things, her kids AND Andre with her to MY DAUGHTER’S house which they’ll be staying until they find a place. My daughter is a backstabbing little *****. She never got along with me or Malik so I think she’s being spiteful and I’ll deal with her later. If she wants to crowd up her house with Andre, Ebony, the kids PLUS the husband and son she already has then that’s her irresponsible problem. Andre and Ebony claim to be in love with each other. I can’t believe all of this happened under my roof behind my back. To me, this don’t make her no better than Malik. I still ain’t even told him. Should I tell him? Do you think Ebony was justified in anyway? What in the hell should I do?

John answers:

Wow what a story! I don’t really know what to say except I bet that ebony had sex with his brother our of spite and being so hurt by malik that she just didn’t know what else to do besides try to make herself feel better about him doing things behind her back by doing thing’s behind his back…

I don’t know whether you should tell your son or not. I would want my mom to tell me but I am assuming they are already over since he loves someone else… So maybe it’s not necessary.

Thomas asks…

My daughter in law is having an affair with my younger son while she’s married to my oldest son. What can I do?

My daughter in law Ebony had me in her corner until I found out this affair she’s having with my baby! My son Andre is 20 years old, Ebony is 34. Andre decided not to go to college right away so he stayed home with me and held down a job after graduating high school. Ebony is married to my older son Malik who is currently locked up. He been in prison since 2008 and he’s expecting to be released early next year. I can’t pretend that Malik has been a total good guy. He put Ebony through a lot. They have a 9 year old son and a 6 year old daughter together. Malik could never hold down no job, he blew his money on weed and he ran his household into debt which made Ebony lose the house last year and have to move into my house along with my grandkids. Through all of that, Ebony did indeed support Malik by writing letters, visiting and keeping his commissary full. She also helped with bills, cooking and cleaning in my house. So, I can’t say she sat on her behind and ain’t do nothing. Ebony put up with a lot to be with Malik because she loved the sh*t out of him. Ebony is college educated and makes good money and her parents think she can do much better than some delinquent thug. Even though it hurts that they was talking about my son; it’s the truth I must admit.

About 7 months ago, Ebony got upset because Malik’s jealous, spiteful, ghetto baby momma Lakeisha decided to come to my house and drop off a bunch letters addressed to her from Malik throughout his prison stay. These letters did not say much about the 12 year old son Lakeisha and Malik have together. Malik was saying things like “He misses her”, “He still loves her” and “He can’t wait to see her”. Ebony cried for a long time over that mess. For months I’ve been consoling Ebony, letting her know that SHE is my daughter and Malik shamed me because I done raised him better than that. I’ve been cheated on by Malik’s father and then Andre’s father did the same thing to me, so I felt Ebony’s pain. But yesterday afternoon was a nightmare. When I came home from work, my grandkids was playing the Nintendo Wii in the living room. I goes upstairs and hear Ebony moaning from Andre’s room. His lock was broken so I busted in and embarrassed both their behinds. They were both naked trying to get dressed. My son barely had his boxers on when I came in. I cursed Ebony out calling her a whore and I had to stop myself from whooping her ass. Long story short, I told her to get her things and get out my house, but my grandkids can stay. But no, Ebony took her things, her kids AND Andre with her to MY DAUGHTER’S house which they’ll be staying until they find a place. My daughter is a backstabbing little bitch. She never got along with me or Malik so I think she’s being spiteful and I’ll deal with her later. If she wants to crowd up her house with Andre, Ebony, the kids PLUS the husband and son she already has then that’s her irresponsible problem. Andre and Ebony claim to be in love with each other. I can’t believe all of this happened under my roof behind my back. To me, this don’t make her no better than Malik. I still ain’t even told him. Should I tell him? Do you think Ebony was justified in anyway? What in the hell should I do?

John answers:

Mam, I think you should write a letter to Malik, brag on Ebony, tell him that Andre has stood by your side instead of going to college, etc., etc. Then tell him what has happened, remind him of his need to go straight or else he’s going to be right back in jail.

The letter will give him time to cool down, if he’s going to cool down at all. But if he walks out of jail thinking he’s got a loving wife awaiting, only to learn what has happened there’s no telling how he might react.

That’s my take on it.

Good luck, you and your family are going to need it.

Susan asks…

Which perspective(s) do you think would be better?

I am currently planning a series of novels. The series will be called Ivy, and it centres around 4 multimillionaire Juniors (Cornell “Cora” Thomas, Brown Aldridge, Harvard “Harvey” Aldridge and Yale Keller) at Ivy West Prep, America’s number 1 (fictional) school.

***

I have 4 novels roughly planned out in the series so far:

NOVEL #1 – ‘Elite’: Harvey, Yale, Brown & Cora are 4 of the 16 Praefecti Elite (the PE), Latin for Elite Prefects, at the school. The term “Praefecti Elite” is synonymous with the term “populars”. The PE are like a school student council, but on a higher level. As is tradition at Ivy West Prep, the four students (along with the 4 Senior Praefecti Elite) help to organise the Ivy West Ball (the annual school dance, and the biggest event of the social calendar).

NOVEL #2 – ‘Impulse’: Harvey, Yale, Brown, Cora, and the rest of their year group become stranded in Europe on a school trip after all flights are banned because of a terrorist threat.

NOVEL #3 – ‘Acceptance’: Harvey, Yale, Brown & Cora deal with college applications, interviews, acceptances and rejections.

NOVEL #4 – ‘Graduation’: Harvey, Yale, Brown & Cora graduate.

***

These are the characters:

MAIN –
Harvard Casper “Harvey” Aldridge: Harvey is one of Ivy West’s most popular students. He is attractive, funny and charismatic, but not particularly talented (academically, musically or artistically). Almost all the guys want to be him and almost all the girls want to be with him. He is on 2 teams (baseball and lacrosse), but only because his dad is the coach. He is a surprisingly down to earth person. He is favoured by those his own age, but overshadowed by Brown in his parents’ eyes. His parents tried to set him up with Cora, but after a year of being together, they realised it wasn’t going to work out. He is close to his brother Brown, but his best friend is Foster Atherton, a fellow baseballer. He only has eyes for Yale, but dates others anyway because hates being lonely. He and Yale become a couple in Novel #2 (‘Impulse’) but break up in Novel #3 (‘Rejects’), only to reconcile their relationship in Novel #4 (‘Graduation’). His family is in a large amount of debt, but he keeps this a secret.

Yale Alexis Keller: Yale is one of Ivy West’s most popular girls, mostly because her family is number 12 on the USA Rich List. Like with Harvey, almost all the girls want to be her and almost all the guys want to be with her, even though, as one of the many blondes at IWP, she is rather plain looking. Like most popular people, Yale thrives on power and loves being at the top of the student body. She is a good dancer, but doesn’t pursue this because she doesn’t know if she is talented enough. Yale underestimates her academic ability too (which, although not good, is a C average at least) and so cheats on all tests and pays others to do her homework. She is in a relationship with Brown, but begins to fall for Harvey. They become a couple in Novel #2 (‘Impulse’) but break up in Novel #3 (‘Rejects’), only to reconcile their relationship in Novel #4 (‘Graduation’). She has an older sister, Caltech, who is disabled, bust she would never tell anyone and keeps up the facade that her sister is studying abroad.

Brown Cyrus Aldridge: Brown, Harvey’s fraternal twin, is different to his brother. While Harvey is lean and blonde with blue eyes, Brown is brunet and muscular with green eyes. He is quite popular, yet, rather than being down-to-Earth like Harvey, he is a conniving womanizer. He is close to his brother. He is dating Yale, but secretly loves Cora, who is in a relationship with Penn. He and Cora become a couple in Novel #1 (‘Elite’). Although his family pretend to take interest in him, he always feels as if they only pay attention to him because he demands it, and that his parents love Harvey more than him. He has no best friend, but Yale, Cora & Harvey are his close friends. He bottles up his feelings of confusion and loneliness. His family is in a large amount of debt, but he keeps this a secret.

Cornell Rose “Cora” Thomas: Cora is more smart than popular, but still embraces status. Unlike the others, she was not born into wealth, but rather adopted by two movie stars who began the “African baby adoption” trend. She longs to find out who her real parents are, but would never tell this to her adoptive parents. She is usually alone in her house with only her baby siblings and the maid to keep her company, as her actor parents and her 12-year-old brother Lijah lead busy lifestyles. She covets attention, but doesn’t get much. This can make her come across as cold and cruel. Her best friend is Yale, who she is often overshadowed by. She develops feelings for Brown, but ignores them for her own good, and is in a relationship with Penn to help him conceal his sexuality. She and Penn break up in Novel #1 (‘Elite’), the same novel in which she and Brown start a rocky relationship.

MINOR –
Pennsylvania Alden “Penn
YOU MUST READ PART 2 AND ANSWER THERE: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20090712065742AASQsaw

John answers:

I think maybe for each book u should have it mainly be from the perpective of one of the 4 main characters, and change it around for each book. And still have the others perspective in there too of course, but it’ll be mostly from the one mian person per story. I think that would be cool, not sure if that’s what u would wanna do though. But anyway u do it, it sounds like a very good series of books, and very interesting as well, and something i’d prolly like to read.

Hope this helps, :D.

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